Life Quotations


Isn't man an amazing animal? He kills wildlife - birds, kangaroos, deer, all kinds of cats, coyotes, beavers, groundhogs, mice, foxes and dingoes - by the million in order to protect his domestic animals and their feed. Then he kills domestic animals by the billion and eats them. This in turn kills man by the million, because eating all those animals leads to degenerative - and fatal- health conditions like heart disease, kidney disease, and cancer. So then man tortures and kills millions more animals to look for cures for these diseases. Elsewhere, millions of other human beings are being killed by hunger and malnutrition because food they could eat is being used to fatten domestic animals. Meanwhile, some people are dying of sad laughter at the absurdity of man, who kills so easily and so violently, and once a year, sends out cards praying for "Peace on Earth." 'There comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor political, nor popular, but he must take it because his conscience tells him that it is right.
Martin Luther King

I can speak Esperanto like a native.
Spike Milligan

Money can't buy friends, but it can get you a better class of enemy.
Spike Milligan

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Spike Milligan

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.

And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.
Abraham Lincoln

What is a cynic? The man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.
Oscar Wilde

"When I hear somebody sigh, 'Life is hard,' I am always tempted to ask, 'Compared to what?''
Sydney Harris

I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
Spike Milligan

One of the secrets of life is to make stepping stones out of stumbling blocks.
Jack Penn

I think that God in creating Man somewhat overestimated his ability.
Oscar Wilde

I'm a hero with coward's legs.
Spike Milligan

That all men are equal is a proposition which, at ordinary times, no sane individual has ever given his assent.
Aldous Huxley

An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex.
Aldous Huxley

When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
Mark Twain 1835-1920

Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.
George Burns

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
Groucho Marx 1890-1977

(French Translation) - Apéritif: a set of dentures.
Spike Milligan

I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.
Bill Cosby

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets the more interested he is in her.
Agatha Christie

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
Mark Twain 1835-1920

When you become senile, you won't know it.
Bill Cosby

Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.
Albert Einstein

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
Mark Twain 1835-1920

The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.
Somerset Maughan 1874-1965

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

I always pass on good advice. It is the only thing to do with it. It is never of any use to oneself.
Oscar Wilde

I had a linguistics professor who said that it's man's ability to use language that makes him the dominant species on the planet. That may be. But I think there's another thing that separates us from animals. We aren't afraid of vacuum cleaners.
Jeff Stilson

When we live our life according to our values we have inner peace.
Hyrum Smith

As thy days, so shall thy strength be.
Jane Goodall

The traits we criticise in others are those we most dislike about ourselves.