How to Photograph your Puppy!

1.   Remove film from box and load camera.
2.   Remove film box from puppy's mouth and throw in trash.
3.   Remove puppy from trash and brush coffee grounds from muzzle.
4.   Choose a suitable background for photo.
5.   Mount camera on tripod and focus.
6.   Find puppy and take dirty sock from mouth.
7.   Place puppy in pre-focused spot and return to camera.
8.   Focus with one hand and fend off puppy with other hand.
9.   Get tissue and clean nose print from lens.
10. Put cat outside and put a dab of antiseptic on the scratch on puppy's nose.
11. Try to get puppy's attention by squeaking toy over your head.
12. Replace your glasses and check camera for damage.
13. Jump up in time to grab puppy and say, "No, outside! No, outside!"
14. Call spouse to clean up mess.
15. Fix a drink.
16. Sit back in chair with drink and resolve to teach puppy "sit, stand and stay" first thing in the morning.
17. Consider buying an older, trained dog.

Courtesy of the American Kennel Club

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